Nelly Schurman, left, and her twin sister Sydney
“We’re on a different path now.” Bonnie Schurman speaks these words as a way of coming to terms with the change her and her family has endured over the past two years. “We will never return to the life we had, but that’s not a bad thing or a good thing,” she says with a heart-warming smile.
After spending an afternoon with the Schurman family, including their beautiful and inspiring daughter, Nelly, it’s remarkable to see how strong and uplifting their united spirit is.
Despite the pain and worry due to Nelly’s sudden diagnosis of Medullablastoma (a brain tumour) and despite the setbacks that have resulted from her surgery, the Schurmans continue to maintain an “I can do anything” mentality that is positively resonating, especially from Nelly, herself.
“Nelly has certainly reconfirmed for us that if you put your mind to it, you can accomplish anything you want,” explains Bonnie, her voice filled with pride for her talented daughter.
Although Nelly, who will be going into grade seven this fall at S.A. Cawker public school, has been classified as legally blind with ataxia (lack of balance) and a left side minor paralysis, she has proved over and over again that her disabilities will never hold her back.
While doctors figured Nelly’s daily headaches were an indication of migraine problems, an MRI proved that Nelly had, in fact, been born with a brain tumour. “Unfortunately,” Bonnie explains, “because the doctors didn’t know to look for it, it remained undetected.”
Following the diagnosis Nelly was immediately transferred to Sick Kids Hospital where she would spend much of the year in treatment and recovery for her illness.
Sorrow fills Bonnie’s eyes as she explains the most difficult part of her daughter’s treatment; the isolation period. Over the next four months, Nelly was only able to see her parents. This proved to be a heartbreaking time for her and her twin sister, Sydney. The two, who were inseparable throughout their childhood, were forced to live divided lives during a time in which they surely needed each other most.
“It was like our family was split in two,” says Bonnie. She refers to her constant need to be at the hospital and her husband’s (Lawrence) need to be at home with Sydney. Finding “a sense of normalcy,” as Bonnie calls it, was near impossible.
Luckily, Nelly recovered from her intensive operation and the surgeons were fully successful at removing the brain tumour. However, the side effects of her illness and surgery have created an entirely new lifestyle in which she would have to accustom herself to.
While her twin sister, Sydney, continues to grow into a young adult, Nelly has not physically grown in two years.
Her ataxia, which Bonnie explains is often compared to “a drunken man’s walk,” inhibits Nelly from running and engaging in certain forms of physical activity. However, watching this vibrant girl manoeuvre around the kitchen, cleaning and putting away dishes, and watching her scurrying about looking for her sister, makes it difficult to believe she was ever burdened by her disabilities.
“I love arts and crafts, baking and gardening,” she explains, her bright smile lighting up her face. Nelly passes over a business card for her most recent venture, “Nelly’s Bakery.”
Over the past year, she has kept herself busy baking up a storm; making cookies, cupcakes and, of course, her famous peanut brittle. She even started creating healthy dog biscuits. However, what’s so marvellous about Nelly’s self-made business is that she was able to raise $900 to donate to Sick Kids b.r.a.i.n.child and the CNIB (Canadian National Institute for the Blind).
This endeavour was just the beginning of Nelly’s fundraising. Both she and her mother, Bonnie, recently planned and hosted a “Tween/Teen Talk” in Port Perry to support Sick Kids b.r.a.i.n.child. The perfectly planned event consisted of youth motivators and a health nurse to teach teenage girls the importance of proper nutrition. The event also brought in an etiquette teacher, a fashion designer, makeup artists and even a personal trainer to teach fun physical activities for the girls to enjoy.
“The response was excellent,” says Bonnie, who claims she simply woke up one morning with the idea. “Some girls even asked for the event to extend a full week next year,” she adds with a laugh. “It was truly like one big slumber party.”
At this comment, Nelly’s eyes instantly light up as if she is recalling all the fun times and wonderful memories she shared with the other girls.
Creating new friendships and engaging in all sorts of social opportunities is something that Nelly has not taken for granted in her first year of recovery. Of course, after such an extensive change, it has been somewhat challenging for Nelly to integrate back into everyday life.
However, what may appear to be daunting to some was simply a task that required a positive outlook for Nelly. It may have been out of the question for other people, including Nelly’s friends, to accept the change, but Nelly and her family continue to look, not at the barriers, but at the opportunities that lie ahead.
“Nelly can do it all (like she did before)...just in a different way.” While these words are spoken from Bonnie, this positive outlook is something that she says she has learned from her daughter. She firmly believes Nelly has taught her family all about “not sweating the small stuff” and “valuing the important things in life”- a principle that they all follow now in their everyday life.
So where did all this passion for life come from?
Nelly seems to realize that she, just like everyone else, can share her talents with others. As an advocate for leading the best life possible, Nelly continues to help out with events and everyday activities within her school as well. Not only does she keep score for school sports and work at the school library, but she also regularly assists the school teacher who works with handicapped or challenged students.
This past year, Nelly was even formally recognized for all her dedicated work. During the Grade 6 “Excellence Awards,” she won the citizenship award, further acknowledging her commitment to volunteer work. As shown time and time again, helping and assisting other people certainly seems to be her top priority.
One of the most inspiring ways that Nelly sought to help others was after her recovery from her operation. She gave an emotional, yet moving, speech over the P.A. system at her school to help students understand what she has gone through and what many other children have to endure when they become sick.
While she certainly brought many staff and students to tears, more importantly, she succeeded in raising awareness for illnesses and the importance of maintaining a positive approach to life.
Nelly also got involved with the CNIB summer camps and helped to create their new slogan and invitations. “Thank You For Restoring The Spirit,” the slogan created by Nelly, herself, was chosen to be featured on the summer camp flyers and invitations. The slogan was also placed on the gifts camp members took home with them at the end of their stay.
This event was not the first time Nelly’s artistic talents were noticed. She was published twice in the school anthology and she recently won an award for her painting skills. Honoured for creating a painting with “the most colour,” her award was sponsored by the Mississauga’s of Scugog Island.
Nelly certainly knows the importance of living a fulfilled life. However, despite all her hard work, she maintains a sense of modesty and shyness that makes her accomplishments all the more endearing.
There’s no denying that her family is more than proud of her talents, and above all else, her capacity to learn and challenge herself despite her hindrance. It’s also undeniable that Nelly has won the admiration and support of others around her, including her friends, classmates, teachers and fellow community members.
As Bonnie explains, it has without a doubt, been a completely life changing past two years. Nelly has spent over a year at Sick Kids, endured four months of isolation, and has recovered from a life-threatening operation. This experience would surely be a difficult battle for anyone, especially such a young girl!
But, bit by bit, the Schurmans have been regaining a sense of “normalcy” and progression in their lives. “It is definitely a lifelong adjustment,” Bonnie says.
She refers to her daughter Sydney and how wonderfully she handled the situation, even though she was obviously very frightened for her twin sister.
A book of poems Sydney wrote about Nelly indicates the sense of fear and uncertainty the young girl had for her sister and best friend. But, as Bonnie feels, putting her feelings into words really helped Sydney to cope during times of grief.
While there were plenty of times of grief, Bonnie says, “The support system has been amazing.” She mentions Nelly’s E.A., Flo Davies, and adds, with complete gratitude, that Flo “really understood the healing aspect and helped Nelly to integrate back into her group of friends” – a deed in which the Schurman family is eternally thankful for. It now seems that no feat is too big for their daughter to overcome.
As the summer is coming to a close and Nelly prepares for another big year, it seems that this inspiring girl has an unbelievable amount of strength and determination to handle anything that may come her way. This determination is Nelly’s gift to others. She stands as an example of all the extraordinary things a person can accomplish when one’s mind is set to it.
Nelly also has the gift of helping others to see the positive in life. One look at her radiant smile and her energy for life and it becomes clear that she could lift anyone’s spirit.
By Christina Coughlin
Focus on Scugog
Personalities
